November Reflections
Approaching my knee replacement | Mentoring | Yoga Nidra | Yoga retreats | Grief in winter | Discounts for my paid subscribers
Knee Replacement
In less than a week I have my second knee replacement. I am looking forward to getting it done and being able to focus on the rehabilitation again. I have looked back to my writing, which has never been shared, of the time at the start of the year when I was approaching the first operation. It feels like a different person who wrote those words, but I am starting to celebrate that. What felt like steps backwards at the time are often revealing to me how much they make me grow, to become something new, and that enriches life more than staying the same ever would for me. Going into this second operation I feel more at ease, I feel more supported, and I have some much compassion for myself, including the previous me, who wrote these words…
January 2023
The ground saw in the new year saturated. The rain falling on the wet garden had nowhere else to go. Swollen with the water. I noticed the rest of the garden too, suddenly looking untidy in the mud. The months had passed and I hadn’t even noticed the long dead stems which should have been cleared away. Should. A word I need to stop using. I was feeling saturated too. The operation was looming, and while I had made some progress with life stresses in the lead-up, there were still so many threads I had left untied, open-ended. I should have done this, I told myself. I should have worked out every day, lifted weights and done all my exercises to get me to this day of the operation. But somewhere life had got in the way. Not every day, but enough. I felt on some days survival was the goal. To do what I needed and simply get to the end of the day. I wondered if anyone else felt like this. Sometimes I couldn’t work out if this was the usual human dance we were all part of, messy swirls of emotions day by day, or it was just me. Was the internal tussle in my head only for me? Was everyone else gliding through life? I doubted that. But sometimes I doubted myself. I never felt resilient.
Maybe I will share more of this year’s writings later. But for now, I hold my hands on my heart and send love back to that version of me. She was more resilient than she ever knew back then.
Mentoring
Throughout my working life, whether as a human rights lawyer, or running coach, there has been a thread of sitting down with people, listening compassionately, and working to empower them to find a way to get forward to where they want to be. I wanted to move away from running coaching, and so instead have widened my work to those solo entrepreneurs and self-employed people who want to make more of an impact, whether through starting their project such as a business or podcast, growing a business they already have, or how they balance work so they can make a sustainable business alongside living a life they want. Seeing the shifts we can create in such a small period of time is thrilling, and I have a few spaces for new 1:1 clients in December, with options for packages of calls and Voxer support. Book a free call if you want to speak to me here or see more information here.
Yoga Nidra
I have a new course ‘Permission to Rest’ which runs every Sunday in January via Zoom. Yoga Nidra has been part of my practice for years. I describe it as yoga without movement, instead it’s about getting comfy, and then getting into a state of conscious sleep. I completed my yoga nidra teacher training a few years ago, and want to share this deep rest with everyone, whether it’s because you need a pause on life, to decrease stress levels or you want to increase creativity and focus. Yoga Nidra has been shown to improve all of these, as well as improving sleep. There is more information on this course here and all paid subscribers will be able to attend this course for free using the code at the end.
I invited one of my favourite yoga nidra teachers, James Reeves, onto the podcast – listen here to hear him talk about rest for resilience.
Disconnect in the Lake District
I cannot wait to offer people a technology-free weekend in March, in the Lake District at Skiddaw House Hostel. Through yoga, meditation and walks, we explore what comes up when there are no other distractions on our time. There are only five places available and more information and booking is here.
You don’t have to wait for the perfect conditions on a yoga retreat to explore this though, when did you last intentionally switch your phone off? Turn off the podcasts or music? Just sit and be for 5 minutes. How does it feel to receive this invitation?
There is an old Zen saying: “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you're too busy, then you should sit for an hour.”
Yoga and walking in the Peak District – 14-16th June 2024
I am thinking more about the fire of my winter stove than the heat of summer at the moment, but I have started to plan a retreat in the Peak District to look at our own inner strength. What does strength mean to you? Can we be soft and strong? These are all things that we will explore in this summer retreat, at the beautiful Bretton Clough Hostel. More information and booking is here.
November
Winter feels like it is finally here, as frost sparkles in the garden, and the bird baths lie frozen stretching into the afternoon. I didn’t always used to welcome winter. My brother died in a bitterly cold November week. The December day of his funeral was a thick freezing fog that didn’t seem to lift. I felt the fog settle in me that winter, and didn’t fight it. I told myself I would try to move it once there were leaves on the trees. The next winter I felt the grief take hold again, and again said I would try harder to pull myself out in spring. It's only been the last few winters that I haven’t felt the fog come back. I mark the anniversary alone now, no one around me remembers the date, and I don’t expect them to. I acknowledged it as I went through the day. Grief can visit with its frosty touch, but it's not a place I linger for long.
I hope that if anyone else is lingering in winter, that you know you are not alone, and we are all here now to help you find your way into Spring.
Jen x
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