Finite
On knowing the last walks in the Peak District are coming | What would change if we know the ending is coming | Would I have changed my running if I knew it was finite?
What if I had known every run had been counting down to my last one in those short few years? What would have I done differently? Could I have appreciated it more? How does knowing just how many more times you would eat that meal, watch that sunset, and feel the waves lap your toes change things?
I wrote these words in the final chapter of my book manuscript while reflecting on what it was like not to run anymore. It seemed hypothetical to reflect on at the time. Anything I would have done differently was too late to dwell on and didn't change anything.
But I returned to it last weekend. I have less than seven weeks until my next knee replacement, and by the time I can, hopefully, roam off-road for a few miles solo, I could be heading up to the next chapter of my life in Scotland.
With only seven weeks left in the Peak District, what did I want to do?
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